What if you want coffee AND orange juice or how I went to a cafe with my baby

Beautiful day, Lisbon, Praça de Comércio, a cafe... me and my baby and eventually a waitress (10 minutes after we came... no, it is not crowded and there are like 5 of them walzing around the tables)
me: "Can I have coffee, fresh orange juice and a bill, please?" (I always ask for a bill because when you are out with the baby you want to be free to leave whenever you or better to say your baby wants)
10 minutes later she appears with no coffee or bill but with CARROT juice. Well, I hate carrot juice but she says:
"Maybe you want to try it?"
"No, can I have my coffee and a bill?"
She goes away, me and my baby keep on happily chewing our banana...
10 minutes later... Maybe she went all the way to Brazil to grow that coffee... I don't know.
I explain to the manager how hard it is to wait for 20 minutes for a cup of coffee with a small baby.
5 minutes later my coffee arrives. NO BILL... I ask for it AGAIN.
We drank and ate everything mama had in the bag...
Here comes the bill... FOR ORANGE JUICE... EXCUSE ME?
I turn my head to the manager and he comes and says:
"Yes, I know it is a wrong bill, we are bringing the right one..."
I am speechless... "THEN WHY DID YOU BRING THE WRONG BILL?"
5 minutes later she brings me the bill with that face "I don't know how it could happen..."
I LOVE LISBON. I really DO. My baby was awesome and had so much fun that I didn't get pissed off... But is it great service Portuguese style or somebody in the time of crisis doesn't want a tip?

We have Porches plates (eventually)

October... Algarve... we decided to order beautiful handmade plates in the Porches Factory. Yes, they have found out where the post-office was but... in a month... still no plates. Pedro calls them and they answer: "We have already made the plates 3 or 4 times but they never come out right. Once we manage we will give you a call." Lovely!
P.S. We got those plates by Christmas. But the question is who actually paid for those 18-24 plates that did not come out right and what happened to them? Business... Portuguese style?

The post office is too far

So, here I am in Gerês, one of the most beautiful places in my beautiful country (for those that don't know, it's in Portugal...and no, Portugal is not in South America...look at the map, yes that thing with a lot of blue, called water, and other things... called countries. We are the dudes on the left side of a thing called Europe). Anyway, I lost myself....back to the story...here I was in Gerês, trying to help the local craftsmanship by buying local things. I was so impressed with the guy's skill, that I wanted to order that he made a table to be sent to the other side of the world (Lisbon...that far far far far far...did I say far? ...far away destination on the middle of the country). His answer?

A perfect reasonable one: No, I can't do it. The post office is too far!

My conclusion? Crisis? What crisis?